More than once I’ve stared things on social media about not calling parents ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’ and learning and using their actual names. It may then come as a surprise that I decided to have this printed onto the back of the Batley shirt I’ve bought.

It occurred to me though when I was ordering the shirt that that’s is probably how people think of me up at Batley. It’s also what I’ve said to people on the occasions I’ve chatted to them when Lucy’s not there. When she is there people are keen to talk to her and enjoy her company and that makes me proud. I want people to know I’m Lucy’s Mum.

I got to thinking about why I’m happy to have this emblazoned on my back at a rugby game yet (apart from in emergencies where you can call me whatever you like) when health, education and social care professionals do it I recoil. My response in these situations varies depending on what day it is what mood I’m in and whether I can be bothered. I either ignore it or say something like ‘yes I’m Jo’ when asked ‘are you Mum?’. Occasionally when seeing a doctor who doesn’t use their first name I’ve been tempted to insist on being called Mrs Holmes.

Thankfully most of the professionals we’ve had a long term relationship with call me Jo. Why does it matter, why if it bothers me so much in encounters with professionals would I have it on my back for all to see? Firstly I enjoy irony, this blog is called Mummy vs. AAC but it’s not because I don’t like AAC. Secondly there is no power imbalance at a rugby match. I’m not going there for advice, for assessment, to secure anything for my child. I’m there to have fun. It’s in the inherent power balance between professionals and parents that being a nameless parent is problematic.

At the rugby I’m just happy for everyone to know that that beautiful, kind, charming, brave, clever, engaging and sociable child is my little girl who I love dearly and who fills me with pride every day. That’s why my shirt say’s Lucy’s Mum.